The Brilliant Body Podcast with Ali Mezey

In this episode, Ali welcomes renowned educator and creator of the Wheel of Consent, Betty Martin. The conversation explores Betty’s journey from her early days as a chiropractor and her deep dive into somatic and erotic practices, to the development of her influential framework, the Wheel of Consent. Together, they discuss the importance of touch, the power of choice in giving and receiving, and how the Wheel of Consent helps people understand boundaries, pleasure, and agency in both professional and personal contexts. Betty shares insights from her decades of teaching, the challenges people face in discovering what they want, and practical exercises for waking up the senses. The episode is a rich, heartfelt exploration of embodiment, consent, and the transformative potential of conscious touch.

BIO:
Dr. Betty Martin has had her hands on people professionally for over 40 years (some of it legal and some of it questionable). 30 years of Chiropractic and other modalities, then later, 15 years of Somatic Sex Education and Surrogate Partner Therapy. Also Contact Improv and other kinds of play.

She is the developer of the Wheel of Consent, a cutting edge model of receiving and giving, based on touch but amenable to non-touch practices as well. She is the author of
The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent.

She loves sharing her experience. She developed a 5 day training in the Wheel of Consent for practitioners, which took her around the world, and then trained others to teach it so she could retire. 

She currently mentors helping professionals, from psychotherapists to sex workers, and all stripes of hands-on practitioners.

OTHER RESOURCES, LINKS AND INSPIRATIONS:

THE WHEEL OF CONSENT explained

THE THREE MINUTE GAME: I do what I want. I do what you want. You do what you want. You do what I want.

The Body Has A Mind of It’s Own - Sandra & Matthew Blakeslee

BAMM

(Bay Area) MODEL MUGGING

If you are any body that has ever been bullied or assaulted, or just want to be prepared in case you are, this is such a useful and truly empowering class. One of the best investments you’ll ever make!

PUPPY PILES: A puppy pile for humans is a type of cuddle puddle where several people gather to cuddle together, often in a close and comfortable heap. Inspired by how puppies often sleep together, this informal practice involves a group of people lying on top of or nestled against each other, fostering feelings of comfort, security, and connection. It is a recognized form of platonic cuddling used for therapeutic and emotional support. Also referred to as a Cuddle Party

SCARED INTIMACY WORK:
Sacred intimacy work is a path for personal and relational growth that integrates spiritual, emotional, and erotic aspects of the self to deepen authenticity and connection, often involving practices like somatic exercises, mindful communication, and exploring the energies of love and desire within a framework of consent and deep inner work. Key concepts include recognizing the sacred in everyday interactions, cultivating devotion to love, embodying masculine and feminine energies to create sexual polarity, and engaging in personal work to heal wounds and release limitations.

BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline (B&D), Dominance and Submission (D&S), and Sadism and Masochism (S&M), and refers to consensual sexual activities involving power exchange, physical restraints, and sensation play, which can include pain or intense experiences. The core of BDSM is enthusiastic, informed consent, negotiation, and a safety framework that includes "safewords" to pause or stop play and "aftercare" to help participants transition back after the scene.

SHA - Sexual Health Alliance Annual Conference October 8-12th where both Betty and Ali will be presenting

AASECT - American Association of Sexuality Educators, Councelors and Therapists

BODY BLOG: What Do and Don't Life and Sex Parties Have in Common? by Ali Mezey

Tanya Diamond - The Artificial Body? with TANJA DIAMOND: Love, Pleasure and AI – PART ONE

For another fantastic, and very different, conversation with Betty Martin, here's an episode from my buddies over at TabooTalks Podcast:
https://tabootalks.sisociety.world/podcast/consent-is-sexy-with-dr-betty-martin/

HOMUNCULOUS: A man-like representation of the body in the brain

SENSORY/TOUCH Homunculus - RIGHT Brain
“…the sensory receptors in your body are distributed unevenly. They are densely concentrated in the body parts where you need high acuity and dexterity, and sparse in parts where superior sensory resolution isn’t paramount.

“…Your finger maps take up one hundred times as much cortical real estate as your torso map because there is a hundred-to-one ratio of touch receptors in your fingers compared to your torso. The actual surface area of your skin where the sensations originate is irrelevant in apportioning your homunculus map; all that matters is the incoming sensory bandwidth. Thus your huge lips and hands but scrawny arms and legs and disappointing rear end.”

PRIMARY MOTOR Homunculus - LEFT Brain
“The left [motor] homunculus is a representation of date distribution of motor neurons, which generate actions for the body parts show. Think of it as the output, or response-based homunculus. 

Notice the face is scowling, and the mouth is open, it’s tongue sticking out actively as part of a threat display. The back of the torso and legs are shown. 

For our ancestors, large muscles like the glutes and hamstrings would have to activate to make a quick get-away in case of attack. The voice box is mapped in the figure on the left, as vocalization is also part of active threat displays.”